THE ROOT.

Prelude:

“And just when I thought I was done writing all my notes to self, her soul leaves her body.

Watching her flesh right into the ground where my roots once grew strong, now cold as ice.

This pain spoken words can’t explain, but my heart aches.

I feel frozen in freezing sinking water and I want to scream, but even freezing cold, this feels too close to hell.

This feels too close to the end of me and everything I have known myself to be.

Strong, resilient, loving; Dear God, where are you sending me?”

I ain’t getting no sleep, I won’t even leave my room to eat.

I’ve been up for 3 days straight, crying with no tears.

Screaming, I hope no one hears.

Hears this look on my face, 

THIS SHIT HURTS:

Burning up on the inside from the anger.

Freezing cold on the outside, this is dangerous.

I think I’m going to be sick, I think I’m going to get lit.

Because once upon a time, you gave me security

I didn’t appreciate it then, that was my immaturity.

A safe place to lay my head while the woman who made us sisters was out battling her demons

We were out feening for love.

I seen her flaws instilled in you just like I seen her flaws instilled in me

But I saw her beauty in you too, just like the kind of beauty you saw in me

Cause' we were all good at the core before we became rotten, 

from all the toxins floating in the air and floating in our bodies.

Your resting place is getting dug up and now the rest of our childhood is getting dug up somehow.

And resurfacing, and now it’s time, time to hurt again.

Now I’m remembering.

Everything we went through as siblings and the environments that we lived in.

And all of the losing situations that we had to force our wins in.

I told you the last time we spoke about this, that something like this would ruin me.

And now look at me, ruining,

Everything I ever loved, pretending to be okay, it’s grueling.

All of the toxic energy that lay dormant inside me is now spoiling.

So deeply rooted but it’s all coming to surface.

Right up out of the ground while they're lowering you in.

I don’t want to grow from this.

But it’s time to grow again.

Letting doves fly, hoping they send you a message.

My sister. I miss you. And I’ll never forget you.

WRITTEN BY:

Mag Mercado